Monday, October 10, 2016

Football, Rain, and Other Diversions

So the day after the Labor Day holiday weekend, the girls and I went back to school and work. I didn't get any good first-day-of-school photos because it was raining like we needed an Ark and everything looked gloomy and full of shadow. We tried not to worry that the weather was an omen about the upcoming school year. Of course it wasn't! 

I do have a few other good autumn photos, however....

Just before school began, Genevieve played in a fun 3-on-3 charity basketball tournament. Doesn't she look cute? OK, I'm biased. Obviously.

We've been going to college and high school football games when our schedules allow. Which isn't often enough, in my opinion. I love going to football games.

We watched our river and downtown flood after torrential rains in September. Yikes.

We went to the annual Alpaca Farm Days Open House that we've been attending since the girls were preschoolers. Love.

And that's all I have time to say right now. Seventh and fifth grades this year. Year three of working full-time with autistic children at Genevieve's school for me. Ups and downs, ins and outs, leaves changing and falling. 

More when I have a chance. No telling when that might be. :)


Thursday, September 01, 2016

Getting Ready

 birthday breakfast
 birthday cake

So sometime in the month since I last wrote here, my baby turned ten. That seems fairly crazy. I'm barely keeping up here! But time marches on and all that. We had a huge kid party the weekend after her actual birthday, with ten girls squeezed into our small house, and it was chaotic but fun. This child has the sweetest, brainiest, sportiest friends. A girl gang for the modern world, all obsessed with science and athletics and books and math. Love them.

I went to a bunch of work trainings in preparation for back-at-it next Tuesday. I have mixed feelings this year. Being back at school made me feel all warm and fuzzy about seeing my fave work friends, my fantastic supervisor, and the anticipation of seeing the kiddos in our special ed program soon, after 12 weeks apart. I truly love and miss them. And September is always--and is already!--warm, sunny, golden, and glorious in these parts. It's impossible to think of past Septembers without remembering the good feelings that come with these gorgeous, perfect days.

But. As is always the case, THIS. The sadness is overwhelming at times. Last night before I fell asleep, I had the sudden panicked realization that summer is over and we never went to the popcorn cart on our town square. A summer tradition, and yet this year, with older kiddos who do more stuff on their own, with friends, and often parent-less, etc., WE NEVER WENT. I almost sat bolt upright in bed. I experienced a very real, physical pang somewhere in my chest. We are going to the popcorn cart tomorrow. But I could cry.

What else, you all? What else is going on? I'm restarting the sprint-interval running program, from week one. I'm redoing bedrooms on a budget of zero (sigh). I'm still binge-reading Elin Hilderbrand. All in all, it has been, of course, a good summer. The Black Hills trip, summer basketball, breaking boards in Tae Kwon Do, several day trips of pure fun (the zoo & Rainforest Cafe for the girls with a dear, dear girlfriend I rarely see because she lives across the country from me; fun city neighborhood jaunts for our girls' field trips; the movies)... There is no such thing as a bad summer.

And, once again, we warrior on into autumn and another school year, my last with a child in elementary school. Life takes fortitude, for sure, and especially if you have one of these fragile hearts that not everyone seems to have.

I will be thinking of all of you, my fellow mamas, next Tuesday on our first day of school. I know some of you have already sent your kiddos back to school, but it's next Tuesday for us, so I'll still think of us all then, as if we're in it together. Because honestly, we are!


Sunday, July 31, 2016

Unsucessful Denial

It's the last day of July?! WHAT HAPPENED. ??!!??!!!?????

Gah. Can't deal with that trauma. Won't even think about it another second. Onward. Denial, you know? It works. For awhile.

Actually, I have done (most of) the girls' school supply shopping. (Why do we always forget at least one item on the school list, why?????? Maybe because the list is so long and the font is so small?????) Oh God, remember the Flair pen??? Thank God there are no Flair pens on the list this year.

I know. It's CRAZY. I bought the school supplies in July. (Recall that in MN, school does not start until the day after Labor Day. Hence, school shopping in July is crazy early.) This would seem to contradict the notion that I am in denial regarding the fact that summer is 2/3 over. However, I have learned to do it early so as to then put it out of one's mind for longer. Of course, there is still the backpack shopping, and the shoe shopping, and the clothes shopping, so..... never mind.

In another contradiction of the theory that I (successfully) practice denial when it comes to summer's fleetingness, lately I have become beset with paralyzing attacks of grief regarding my past autumns as a full-time stay-at-home mom. More specifically, I recently realized that I only had 1-1/2 years of sending my daughters to all-day school while remaining a full-time SAHM. (I started working part-time at my girls' school halfway through Genevieve's 2nd-grade year, then moved to full-time the following fall.) I only experienced two Septembers (those glorious, sun-drenched, still-warm days of early fall!) of sending the kids back to school and then reaping the blissful productivity of full autumn days at home---time to preserve the farm produce, time to clean the closets, time to run during the day and grocery shop and manage the children's and the household's myriad needs, time to bake homemade breads and cookies and pies and full dinners!

Just two times this happened. This makes me so, so sad. I miss those days terribly. I miss having time to get so much done, I miss not feeling like a frantic hamster running on a wheel but never getting anywhere. I miss the more relaxed pace of my life back then--coupled with, at the same time, a better handle on family projects and my kiddos' needs. In my mind, I think I felt like I was home forever, maybe because there was pressure to get out there and contribute financially to the family. But honestly, there was only a year and a half that I was home with both children in full-day school. That's not very long in the grand scheme of family life and parenthood.

And honestly, as I've said many times, I do love my job at the school. If it paid even half a living wage, it would be the PERFECT JOB for me, as far as jobs go. My first full-time year, I literally never once missed being home full-time, never once regretted working. However, by midway through last year--when, I guess, the novelty was wearing off and the sense of being constantly behind on everything at home was increasing with each passing month--my work-BFF and I had begun sniffling together on our afternoon breaks about our past SAHM lives and how much we felt that role was our true calling and what our families truly needed.

So, it's hard. I love that school, those kids, my co-workers, my supervisor, the schedule, the work. But I still pine for those two lost Septembers, and I try really hard not to notice how fast the summer weeks go.

In other, less depressing news, my Elin Hilderbrand obsession continues. I'm on book six now. (The Rumor, Barefoot, The Matchmaker, The Island, Summerland, Silver Girl.) Thank God she's so prolific. I can feed my addiction for months to come! Hurrah. At least I can live in permanent summer via E.H. novels.

And as for now? I've planning Genevieve's 10th birthday (already! gah! August!), I'm taking the girls on day trips here and there and to all their activities (including Tae Kwon Do, where they both earned their brown belts and BROKE THEIR FIRST BOARDS this month, omg), I'm scheduling my pre-school-year work trainings (no comment; or rather, see above for numerous comments) and the girls' pediatrician well-checks, I'm running when it's not 92 degrees, I'm hosting playdates and eating ice cream cones and listening to the birds sing outside my patio door.

August is lush. The corn is high. The flowers are electric pink and red and yellow. Focus on that.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

July, in All its Glory

Ah, summer. Is there anything better? Doubtful.

It's a different sort of summer for me. My girls are old enough to be dropped off at the pool; no more do I spend every afternoon on a lounge chair with a book, dipping in when I get too hot. That said, I am still at the pool plenty of afternoons.

Elin Hilderbrand for the win

It is the summer of Elin Hilderbrand novels. Oh, my. One of my favorite friends, a work bestie, introduced me to her recently, and I'm now officially addicted to her books. Her women characters--they are mostly women protagonists--are charming but flawed; thus, they are so relatable. Note: these books are sometimes referred to as romances, or as beach reads, and while I would agree with the latter (in the best sense only: absorbing, summer-set, beachy, warm), the former really isn't quite right. Yes, there is often romance of some sort. But Elin Hilderbrand's themes--as far as I've read so far, anyway, which is just three: The Rumor, Barefoot, and The Matchmaker--are more complex than simple romance. Because life is complex! Motherhood, infidelity/divorce, cancer: These are Hilderbrand themes (beyond the largest and most obvious theme of Nantucket/summer/beach). I could read one after the other nonstop, like eating popcorn or those unwrapped miniature Reese's peanut butter cups that come in the stand-up bag.

It is the summer of girl projects and greater self-sufficiency. Children grow, after all.

A summer of fewer trail runs, more interval runs--because they give me smokin' legs, of course! (I can't sprint in the woods--too paranoid of tripping on a rock or a root and wiping out.) I miss the trails but love the results. I also highly recommend this 30 Day Squat Challenge, which I did last summer and again this past April, and have kept up since then (not every day, but I do about 350-400 squats [in sets of 50 with a short break between sets] a few days a week, and nothing has benefited my rear view, or my weak running hips, more, ever, so there's that).

Speaking of legs, here are the shorts I picked up on a Target run the other day, that my youngest said were "pretty good, but kind of look like pajama shorts."

I wore them anyway.

My girl! Who is she to talk? She'd wear pajamas all day if I let her!

So, we took a family trip to the Black Hills/Badlands. The South Dakota Wild West, you all! It was fantastic.

That was just a tiny fraction of what we saw of course. You'd hate me if I uploaded every photo.

We are home now, and back to basketball, Tae Kwon Do, mountain biking class (them); and interval runs, many squats, and Elin Hilderbrand novels (me). We are back to wishing every perfect summer day would never end.

Friday, June 10, 2016

So, This Happened

So. Here we go. A semi-random, rushed (sorry! I have 7 girls coming to my house later today for a birthday sleepover & a milllllion things to do before that!), incomplete rundown of What We Did, Spring 2016 Edition, Possibly Accidentally Including Some Things From Winter?, the working-mom version (which means, essentially, the photos are too few & unedited).

We went to a Timberwolves game!

We (meaning they) earned their blue belts in Tae Kwon Do!

 We made Easter cookies, and...

We tried to look springy on Easter on the prairie!

Julia joined the 6th-grade girls' track team!

We put our 21-year-old kitty to sleep :( .....

Julia turned 12. TWELVE.

Genevieve set a school historical record & got special recognition at a medal ceremony for running a total of 198 miles during recess throughout the course of the school year in the 4th-grade running club (the club's highest challenge was to get to 100 miles)!

....And, on Wednesday, the last day of school (& for me, work) came:

If you need me, I'll just be over here huddled in a corner preemptively crying over the fact that I only have one year left with a child in elementary school.

Happy Summer, you all! It's the very best time of the year, and I plan to soak up every drop. I'm starting with hosting this crazy girl sleepover. Ha! ;) When that's over, I plan to resume hot lush trail runs and sunny afternoons at the pool. I wish you the very best summer ever.

Monday, June 06, 2016

Are You Sure?

Have you been wondering why I have not had time to post here since late April, during these last six weeks of the school year--not even a token birthday post when my oldest turned 12 on Friday, nor anything about being rehired at my current full-time job for next year, nor notes about my youngest setting a school (or all of history?) record for running a total of NEARLY TWO HUNDRED miles during recess over the course of the school year, when the goal for the running club program is 100 miles (and most kids don't even make that), nor a word about completing this eight-week, kick-ass interval running program app that almost killed me at first but left me with the most awesome leg muscles and a typical (non-sprinting) mile pace nearly a minute faster than my previous usual (runners: try it!), nor a thing about Julia's first-ever middle-school track season, nor a word about the upcoming nine-girl sleepover birthday party at our house this coming weekend?

Well, this. This is why.

For those of you on my schedule, enjoy this last (half-)week of school, if you can, amidst the 50 picnic lunches (permission slip required) that are somehow still scheduled (sack lunches needed! drinks in non-glass bottles! disposable/recyclable everything!).

Cheers! You can do it, mamas.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Random Spring Notes


It is ridiculous that I have not written here since mid-February. FEBRUARY. What the ever-loving?

I'm terrible.

I'll spare you a paragraph about how CRAZY BUSY I have been and all the usual excuses about having NO TIME TO WRITE. Just consider it already said.

It's hard to sum up nearly 2-1/2 months of mothering life in a few paragraphs. Truth be told, I can't even remember mid-February. Were we done with Genevieve's travel basketball tournaments at that point? Not even sure. What was going on with work? No idea. The good news is that back then, it was winter, and now IT IS SPRING. Does anything else even matter?

So, spring. Easter up north at the grandparents', Julia joining the 6th-grade girls' track team and thus initiating us into the world of daily after-school sports practice (and four-hour WEEKNIGHT meets), interval runs via this new-to-me app (no, I have not lost weight with it, by the way; turns out you actually have to, I don't know, adjust your diet? for that to happen), the annual elementary school arts festival (squeezed in before Tae Kwon Do class, yikes, the fam schedule is tight at times), playdates, birthday parties, and other social busy-ness.

And now here we are at almost May. The girls are taking this session off from Tae Kwon Do due to Julia's track schedule, but will start again in June. Genevieve's well past her school running club's record for most miles run at recess during the course of the year, with 6-1/2 weeks of school still to go. Within the past few months our front door deadlock, dining room overhead light fixture/switch, garage door opener, and girls' bedroom blinds have all broken/malfunctioned. (Have any of the above been fixed yet? Ha ha no.) Our 21-year-old kitty has shrunk to five pounds or less and we are facing an imminent goodbye.  Life goes on, each day a speeding train just like the one before it.

I'll come back, before 2-1/2 more months go by, I swear. I'll post some photos. Happy Spring!