Sunday, July 16, 2006

Mama So Tired

The story remains the same: I am just so, so tired. Most days I feel like I’m barely slogging through. One of the mantras of the past few months in our house has been, “Mama so tired.” Except Julia pronounces it phonetically, like “tie-red.” Let me tell you, it’s more than a little heartbreaking to hear your two-year old say gravely, “Mama tie-red” every other hour in response to hearing your heavy sighs or determined deep breathing. Sometimes, if she needs something and Christopher is home too, she’ll say, “Daddy do it. Mama too tie-red.” It kills me—and not in a ha-ha, that’s so funny it just KILLS me! kind of way.

The worst part of this incredible exhaustion is the knowledge that it’s not likely to go away for, like, another year. I mean, I’m tired to the bone NOW. But then the baby will come, and, since I’ll be nursing, I’ll be sleeping even LESS than I am now, with no possibility of catching up with naps, either. It won’t be until the baby is done nursing during the night that I’ll have any hope at all of even a remotely significant chunk of sleep at any one time.


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