Monday, March 10, 2008

Poor Decisions

I'm having a bad day. I'm totally sick, for one thing, just like every other person in this household, and I feel terrible. We all have this awful cough/fever/sore throat/headache/runny nose bonanza that seems impervious to any and all medication. As you can imagine, we're not really very helpful to one another, since everyone feels sick enough to need to be taken care of, and yet there's no healthy person around to do the caretaking. Blech. Maybe I could train the cat to bring mugs of hot tea and pawfuls of ibuprofen?

Then, do you remember my cutest of all birthday shoes? Do you? The ones that were a bit too big, and that I returned for the next half-size down? And that I waited AN ENTIRE MONTH to receive? Well, they arrived today, and you guessed it: they are tiny little miniscule elf shoes. Seriously, a mouse could wear these shoes. OK, maybe not. But they are way smaller than one would guess given the fact that they are only a half size smaller than the original too-big pair! Also, I OWN ANOTHER, VERY SIMILAR PAIR OF KEENS IN SIZE 7-1/2, AND THEY FIT PERFECTLY WELL. So, can you blame me for assuming I would take a 7-1/2 in this pair as well? If you know me or have read this site at all, you know that Internet shopping is going to drive me to drink one day. This is just the latest in a long string of mail-order-shopping sizing misadventures. Curse living in a tiny town with no shopping! (The truth: I love this town. But I hate having to do all my shopping over the Internet, by which I waste many dollars on fruitless shipping charges. Dang! Grumble! Curse, curse, cough, cough, argggh!)

I broke my crockpot tonight! Oh, people: the horror! And since I just spent all our money on doctor bills, cold medication, and a new children's humidifier, I don't think I can run right out and replace it immediately. You know what this means, don't you? NO SALSA CHICKEN IN THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE. Help!

You might be wondering how I broke my crockpot. Let me tell you. Learn from me. If, at the very last minute before supper, you are trying to determine the best way to heat up leftover Slow-Cooker Pinto Bean-Sweet Potato Chili, still in the slow-cooker stoneware pot from last night, and you are under the influence of Benadryl and have not slept in several nights due to various family members' nonstop coughing plus that pesky middle-of-the-night raging fever, and you gaze at your slow-cooker pot and think to yourself, "This looks like a Le Creuset Dutch oven, sort of, and you can put THAT on the stovetop or in the oven or whatever, and I'm sure it's just a regular old cooking pot like any other when it's out of the metal crockpot piece, and even though I can't find my crockpot instruction manual to check and see if this is stovetop-safe, I'm sure it would be fine to just put this on the burner and quick heat up the chili," well, STOP RIGHT THERE.

Enough said? I think so.

Tomorrow will be a better day. I'm sure of it. Give me my damn tiny elf shoes and leave me alone with my leftover chili.


CKH said...

I'm sick too. At least, that's my defense for forgetting the baked squash in the oven for, oh, three hours or so. And then, when I pulled the glass baking pan out (suddenly an ominous brown) with these little wilted acorn squash halves, and set it down on the cold counter top, well, I just really didn't see the explosion coming. It was loud. It was total. The baking pan blew into hundreds and hundreds of tiny, marble-sized pieces. I'm still finding them. Luckily, it was this strange World War II era safety glass that wasn't in the least bit sharp. But still. Nice to know we can still have adventures in cooking well into our thirties.

Shan said...

ARRRRGGGHHH! That is CRAZY. And totally scary! But I feel soooo much better now. ;)

donna said...

Oy. You poor thing.

(But, you'll find it completely hilarious that I couldn't figure out how you put your crockpot on the stove because my crockpot is (literally) OLDER THAN MY HUSBAND. I know this because my MIL gave it to me (after I asked for it) and said, "We got this before we got [my husband]." You know, the kind from the 70s that is just one big honking piece (that's a ___ to clean, in case you were wondering) and you just plug it in.)

Shan said...

Hmmm! Mine is newer than that, yes! But now I need an even newer one. By the way, I am writing this comment on the day after I wrote this post about how the next day would be better, and it MOST DEFINITELY WAS NOT!