Friday, July 25, 2008


So many rants, so little time.

Actually, things haven't been so bad here at Wonderland this week, given the gorgeous weather and the fact that Genevieve has FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY agreed to actually give SPEAKING a try. You know, rather than just whining and fussing and SCREAMING. She has finally turned that corner where she's now trotting out new words on an hourly basis, even if sometimes it takes a few tries for us to be able to understand her. The funniest part is how casual she is about the whole development. Yesterday she sat down for naptime stories, gazed at the sole of her foot, and said worriedly, "Uh-oh!" When I looked, I noticed a piece of tape or paper stuck to the bottom of her foot, which I quickly peeled off, saying "It's OK, honey, all gone." She shrugged and said, "Sticker." Or, rather, "Dit-dur." Which is, you know, pretty much hilarious. But not as hilarious as how, when she wants to get on top of our new giant bed, she toddles down to the girls' bathroom and then, amidst all sorts of banging and huffing and puffing, two-handedly carries the extremely heavy, two-step, wooden stepstool ALL THE WAY DOWN THE HALL and back into the master bedroom, plops it by the bed, and proceeds to use it to scale the mattress. She narrates this by saying, "Deh-doo." Stepstool.

OK! Got off track there! Was trying to say, pretty good week and all, but, people: pretty good week still translates into INCREDIBLY HARD WEEK. It's rather disheartening, really. Even a pretty good week with Tyrant Toddler means a heck of a lot of screaming, not that much sleeping, and that lovely combination, whining/fussing. Always with the whining/fussing. The clear and ready speech, it cannot come soon enough, because I do feel that about 90% of the whining and fussing is due to the fact that Genevieve can't often get her message across. Sticker, stepstool--not exactly the most helpful and necessary words out there, you know? Not like, "I am asking you for a SPOON!" or "Please can I go pat that stone turtle in the neighbor's flowerbed?"

This is a long way of saying that I am suffering from chronic stomachaches. Constant screaming and fussing give me stomachaches. I cannot stand it. Also, I am bone tired. Yes, I'm sleeping great on my new mattress. But I'm still bone tired. When I get tired and stomachachey, I become intolerant of all sorts of things, like teenagers who drive too fast through my subdivision, the dead rosebushes in my front yard that my townhouse association was supposed to replace but, mysteriously, hasn't, and the fact that my only vacation this year is an all-day driving trip that will likely kill me (see above re: whining/fussing) before I arrive at my destination, where my baby will no doubt be unable to sleep for much of the entire week we are there, at which point I will return home exhausted and with a giant stomachache. Sorry, family, I love you and all, but that kind of vacation ISN'T REALLY A VACATION.

I'll stop now. It is Friday, after all, and I have a dear, dear friend swinging through town later this morning to visit the girls and me--someone I have not seen in two years and who I will likely attempt to kidnap and keep at my house to entertain me and make me happy for the next three years or until Genevieve stops screaming, whichever comes first. TGIF.


Anonymous said...

Early, partial comment: Tylenol PM at 7:30 pm on Friday and Saturday nights; sleep late the next days.

Rob Hardy said...

I've found that a general anesthetic is good for sleeping.

Seriously, this comment section is too small to tell you all the ways in which I can totally relate to everything you've written.

Mnmom said...

But Patriarch - Tylenol PM infers that the children will ALSO sleep thereby allowing the Tylenol PM to work it's magic.

I'm with Rob. Mine could speak quite clearly but it didn't stop the whining/crying/fussing thing. It's inherent unless you gave birth to children with mighty calm DNA, which I didn't and apparently neither did you. My sister did - I hate her.

Anonymous said...

About that vacation...San Antonio awaits you :) Let's seriously start making plans, like actual dates. Let me pamper you for a week--the Spa awaits us :)