Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Mom Says

My mom is about ready to kill me for not writing any Wonderland entries since last Thursday, let alone about considering no longer blogging at all. And my friend MNMom says she'd better see a post about the fact that we actually had a real-life babysitter over here on Monday (it just happened to be one of her adorable daughters).

I happen to have ZERO time for writing this week, as--did you recall?--I'm helping to run the preschool, and that means co-running THREE preschool orientations in two days. After helping at an open house last Thursday evening. Thank God we DID have that babysitter on Monday (so sweet! so good with children! sorry about the poopy diaper!), because that two-hour coffee date with my husband was the only relaxation I've got coming to me this week. First week of school and all. OK, OK, for us it's just preschool, but first days are always momentous, whether you're four or 14. Am I right?

But if you hang in, you may be rewarded with some bloggy goodness later this week, when if I can, I promise to post a back-to-school photo or two, perhaps even--for my waiting big sis--one including me and my new short (it's all relative) hair.

But in the meantime I'm busy contemplating how my first two weeks of September got so busy and scheduled when I thought my life was supposed to start SETTLING DOWN now (huh? dermatologist appointment AND eye doctor appointment within one week? is that really necessary?). I'm also busy considering the sad truth that, if you skip 50% or more of your workouts for five weeks straight, you cannot expect to maintain your previous level of fitness. (HOW ANNOYING.) I'm busy trying to figure out how I can get Minnesota Parent Magazine to let me write for them (you'd read me there, if they did, wouldn't you? those of you from MN?). And lastly, I'm contemplating the fact that my baby inexplicably calls her beloved teddy bear "Dub-ya." Like I need any reminders of the Republicans in my life right now.

Oh, and lastly? My preschooler is obsessed with the Christmas story, and when she recites to herself the text of a YouTube video about the Nativity with which she is mysteriously enamored, acting out the story with her little Playmobil and Fisher Price Little People figures, she says things like "ReJOCE, highly favorite one!" instead of "Rejoice, highly favored one!" and "You will conceive in your room" instead of "You will conceive in your womb" (although: same thing, really?), and it's....you know....just the cutest, sweetest little thing you've ever heard. Christopher and I just sit on the periphery eavesdropping and giggling silently behind our hands. Because you've never heard such an earnest little pseudo-Christian in your whole life. ("How can this be, when I am a virgint?") Sigh.

And no, I haven't yet told her what the word "virgin" means. Or virgint. Whichever.

I'm still grappling with the whole issue of blogging about motherhood, blogging about children, being honest about mothering and balancing honesty with dignity and privacy. I haven't come to any great conclusions about any of it. I did, however, appreciate every comment to last Thursday's post, all of which encouraged me to keep writing and most of which affirmed my personal mamahood truth, and validated that it is important. A million heartfelt thanks for all of that. I mean it; you have no idea the impact your comments and opinions had on me as I considered whether it's worth it to lay out the brutal truth about what it's like to be a full-time at-home mom to two children under five with no outside help. It's a constant struggle. Sure, there's joy as well, but if you don't understand in your bones that IT IS A CONSTANT STRUGGLE, then you've never done it.

I'm still puzzling, musing, resting. Still thinking. Still deciding.

But in the meantime: school's starting again! REJOICE.

3 comments:

Rob Hardy said...

When we were little, my brother and I used to sit in the closet and pretend that we were shepherds watching our flocks by night. The clothes hanging over our heads were a multitude of the heavenly host. My brother is a Presbyterian minister now. Watch out!

Mnmom said...

Twin #1 used to do the whole psychiatrist routine from Charlie Brown Christmas, complete with "money, money, money, cold hard cash!"

You thought your life would settle down??!??! It will, when they are 24 and in graduate school. Or they're visiting you in the nursing home. Life is a wild ride!

Shan said...

Ha to both these anecdotes! Hilarious!

And as for life settling down, CLEARLY I WAS INSANE FOR EVEN CONSIDERING SUCH A SCENARIO. Because I've experienced more drama in the last week alone than anyone needs from now until, say, spring break. At least.

Wild ride is right.