Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Have I Mentioned That My Hair is Falling Out?

pancake breakfast = yummy

Even though I'm not writing about it much anymore, I'm still deep in the trenches of a stressful volunteer position, the one I took on five months ago when I was under the impression that it would involve an hour or so of monthly meetings and a few other easy tasks throughout the school year. Of course my faithful readers know--or sort of know--that it turned into something along the lines of EVERY PARENT VOLUNTEER'S WORST NIGHTMARE. And by that I mean that circumstances changed dramatically due to some major administrative shifts, and that my fellow volunteers and I have since invested countless hours into, basically, saving a little school. I am fortunate that I adore this school, its teachers, its new director, its families, and my fellow parent volunteers. Everyone involved deserves a medal. But people, it is extremely stressful to hold other people's livelihoods in your hands, to gaze at an agency's budget and be faced with decisions about staffing and hours and salaries. When you're just a mom, and you never thought of yourself as an employer; you were just thinking of doing things like donating cookies to the school carnival. You didn't expect to lose many nights' sleep over keeping a preschool open. You didn't expect that your life would open up to include an entire additional endeavor amidst the mothering, housewifery, cooking, running, and writing--that now you would also have "help run the preschool" on the list of things taking up your time. And that it would be really hard.

So maybe it's not so surprising that I'm losing hair like a postpartum mama? Or that my adrenaline is in overdrive? Or that running five miles now feels not like a challenge but an escape?

I am praying and praying about the election. I've been so disappointed by human nature in the last several months; people I thought I knew have stomped all over me and others, people I trusted have turned out to be anything but trustworthy. There are people out there--people in my very own hard-core liberal state!--who truly believe that Barack Obama is "an Arab" and that he is someone to be feared, apparently because he's black with a name that doesn't sound like their own. There's a lot of disappointing behavior out there--in the larger world and in my own little world as well--and I'm just holding thoughts of the truly good people I know close to my heart and hoping against hope that November 4th brings some redeeming news. Because things are better in my life these days than they were last summer--the baby screams a little less, the mean former friend is over and done, the volunteer job has morphed from immediate crisis into chronic challenge--but that's not to say my hair isn't falling out in clumps. Which is never a good thing, people.

5 comments:

Mnmom said...

My favorite frig magnet says "Stop me before I volunteer again!" I've done so many demanding volunteer jobs: registrar for preschool, team coordinator for soccer, campaign volunteer, etc, etc, etc. I'm taking the entire 2008-2009 school year "off" from volunteering. I think you can safely do the same when this crisis has passed. You can't do it all - and especially not at the same time.

Look at the poll numbers and forget the bigots - they are just afraid, that's all. Our job is to calm their fears by reminding them that we are good people who pay our taxes, obey the law, love our kids, volunteer in the community etc and we are most certainly NOT afraid of Barack Obama.

Shan said...

I think I--and all my fellow Board volunteers--need that magnet.

And amen to all the rest.

Anonymous said...

Good news, for a quick fix anyway. We are booked (Saturday 1pm)for a Vichy Refresher followed by a Soma Individually (Reflexology and Scalp Massage) then an Aromatherapy 1 hour massage and finally Manicure and Pedicure :)

donna said...

Your weekend getaway sounds like fun - and is well deserved.

Shan said...

Uh, can everyone see that Anonymous is and always has been my personal fairy godmother? This woman is an angel. It's a wonder I can even survive with her living so far away.