Monday, November 10, 2008

I Blame My Lack of Sleep

I blame all of my lack of ambition on sleep deprivation. On a near-daily basis, I am beset with all sorts of barely-formed ideas about things I would theoretically like very much to do: write a book, find some freelance/consulting work, make a plan for a post-toddlers career, train for a 10K. All these things feel important, even imperative at times. But then I never get any farther than those burning, stewing, shapeless thoughts.

Is it because I NEVER GET ANY SLEEP GOD HELP ME? Seriously, people, I don't know how many more months and years I can take this. I am one of those people who, pre-baby, required a solid nine hours each night to function well. The rare six hours a night left me lightheaded and fuzzy. When my babies were born, the interrupted sleep of exclusive nursing gave me headaches, mood swings, and constant high appetite; and yet, my babes were small, so I expected it, which made it easier to take, even though I nursed my babes for many, many months. Now Genevieve is two, and each overnight she cries out with such desperation and distress--sometimes in her sleep, usually waking up--at least three, and sometimes up to eight or 10--times a night. It wouldn't help to turn off the baby monitor: she screams, yells for help--I'd hear her, monitor or not. It's not possible to ignore her; she shares the nursery with Julia, and she is truly calling for help--she does not calm down if no help arrives, she simply shouts louder, as anyone would who needs help, no?

When you combine the baby night-wakings with the husband who snores, you end up with anywhere from five to 10 wake-ups per night. Each morning I get out of bed feeling like I didn't sleep at all. And clearly that can only go on for so long before one's quality of life becomes, well...SEVERELY LACKING. It's not going well, people. I'm all jittery and crazed, with myriad minor-yet-annoying physical symptoms bothering me one after the other (or all at once). And needless to say, no creative or career-minded projects are getting off the ground.

I know, I know: this too shall pass. I only hope I have a brain cell left when it does.


Christopher Tassava said...

Shan said...

Tylenol PM has begun to fail me. You know it's bad when that's the case.

donna said...

I say banish the snoring husband to another room - at least for one night, since he seems to be able to sleep thru anything. Should cut down your wakings by half, right?

(You know I love you, C, but I love Shannon, too.)

How about benadryl instead of tylenol PM?

And dare I say... would cutting back on caffeine (at least in the PM) help? Maybe half-caf?

(Aaaah! Stop! Don't attack me! Okay! Okay! I didn't really mean it!)

Shan said...

I'm already working on cutting down on caffeine (omitting my afternoon Diet Coke, sob). I don't generally drink much in the afternoon (and none in the evening), but I thought I'd give it a try. Generally though at night I feel very tired, just woken up a lot of times by external factors, so it doesn't feel like caffeine is keeping me up. Still, I figured it can't hurt. And this a.m. I told Christopher, "One of us is sleeping in a different room tonight!"

Mnmom said...

Definitely sleep separate from the snorer - nothing personal. We'll talk more tomorrow.

Question said...

I thought Christopher's comment linking to Tylenol PM was a suggestion to give it to the kid. ;)

Anyway, does he snore or have sleep apnea? We thought J snored. He actually had apnea. He wears a CPap at night, which is sorta weird, but it has changed J's life. Seriously.

donna said...

So.... did you banish him to another room? (At least for one night?)