Sunday, November 30, 2008

This is Why

As many Wonderland readers know, I have struggled at times with writing this blog--wondered if I've revealed too much about myself and my family, expressed genuine and sometimes raw emotion only to have my words misunderstood, negatively judged, or subtly mocked (dang! annoying!). Rarely does a day go by that I don't question whether I should keep writing here, in all honesty. I get so much out of this writing work, and yet it's tricky to find a balance between sharing the intimate details of motherhood in a realistic, this-is-how-it-is way and opening one's self up to, as a reader once commented, the fickle reactions of the Internet (I believe she described it as worse than a school playground).

But recently a fellow stay-at-home mom ("Anonymous", fifth comment down) left me one of the nicest notes I've ever received on my mama-writing. And this is why I'm writing.


Mnmom said...

You can always delete unsavory comments. This is YOUR blog, for YOU, about YOU. They are free to have their own blog. Just delete anything that brings you down.

Being a SAHM was flat-out the hardest job I've ever had.

Anonymous said...

That is so nice to read. I meant every word. And by the way, I loved your post today about all the housework before nine a.m. on a Sunday. I had to sweep, mop, put breakfast on the table, all before 9:30 and my first cup of coffee too, in addition to some laundry, etc., and even though it wasn't as much as what you did this morning, I found myself saying, geez, where does this all come from? I don't think you are a compulsive housekeeper or neat freak -- I agree with you that it just comes with the territory, esp, if you want to try to keep the household somewhat manageable and fairly comfortable for your family to live in (I can't stand the idea of my kid rolling around on a dirty floor all day, you know?) and God knows I am no neat freak. And my husband helps out, a lot. So I get it. And it made me feel good about the fact that somedays by ten o'clock I realize that I haven't stopped, for one minute, to just sit and sip a cup of tea and just be quiet, by myself, for days on end. Because I know that I am not alone.

Shan said...

Thank you both. :) Anonymous, EXACTLY. I have been called fanatical or compulsive about housekeeping by everyone from my spouse to my mom, but the truth is, my girls and I are on the floor the majority of every day. And I keep the house clean because if I don't, it only makes MORE work for ME down the road.

donna said...

Housework is something that is easiest when it's kept up - that's for sure.

You probably do more house cleaning than I do because you're at home with your kids and that creates more mess than me and my kids who aren't home during the day. So, yes, it goes with the territory of being an at-home Mom.

But, I would also venture to say (because I know you) that your standards of clean are higher than most people's.

Shan said...

To Donna, yes you are so right--when you're home all day you're also making MESSES all day. Also, as I say to Christopher sometimes, my home is my WORKPLACE, thus it is important to me to keep it neat. I'm here all day every day! It would drive me crazy if it were a hideous mess! As for my housekeeping standards, I really can't say. I do know that when I go to other moms' houses for playdates they typically look just as neat as mine, sometimes neater.