Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Flux

I realized today that I'm in a state of flux.

I have one tiny daughter done with school for the summer and one in school for three more weeks. (So...what is that? Semi-summer vacation? Half-summer? What?) I'm inching toward the stay-at-home mom's worst nightmare, the switch-over to No More Naps for Anyone Anymore (I tried it once, last autumn, but it didn't stick), but we're not quite there and are instead hovering in a gray area involving napping, but only for short periods of time. I'm hesitantly completing interval runs a few days a week, slowly working back up to regular mileage after a spring of arthritis and running hiatus, but I'm still suffering as I do it, wheezing up and down the hilly roads near my house and wondering how in the world I could ever run them for six miles straight, not that long ago. I'm buying new clothes in April that are accidentally too big for me in May, because even my body is in flux, due to the Stress Diet and the running and various other biological factors too mysterious to discuss here. I'm planning the summer and avoiding planning the summer. I'm writing furiously on the book, and then feeling 100% sick of the book, without an ounce of interest. I'm living in the undefined mothering period between "toddler" and "grade-schooler," when parenting is an equal mix of babying them and telling them to suck it up. I'm contracting to have the house painted, while not yet certain how or when the house is actually going to be painted (or how to pay for it).

I don't do well with flux, in case you were wondering.

But there seems to be a lot of it in life.

1 comment:

Mnmom said...

Flux from school to summer is always hard. When they were in 1st garde I started the "I'm Bored Bag". It held individual age-appropriate chores and homework sheets. If they stated "I'm bored" within my ear range, they had to choose something from the bag.

And LORD I hated making them lunch. Don't ask me why.

My mom always said "the only thing I can guarantee for you kids is that life changes, over and over and over again".