Monday, November 14, 2011

In a Perfect World, Doughnuts Would be Good for You.


I'm not even kidding you, EVERY SINGLE DAMN YEAR at about this time, by about 5:20 p.m. when it is pitch black outside and seems like, oh, about midnight, and the Novembery wind is starting to flail around and you just know that within days--maybe hours--it will be really cold, I am snuggling into my burrow, snacking on sweet carbs, and gaining five to ten pounds. Then I spend the entire winter feeling terrible about myself and yet at the same time feeling extremely averse to exercising and/or eating fewer sweet carbs. Then in the spring it eventually all goes away and starts up again the following autumn. It's so obviously biochemical it's ridiculous.

This year I'm attempting to use a medical-grade UV light box to quell this annual attempt at hibernation--complete with the layering on of protective fat--but so far it's not working at all. I don't know how long you have to use it before it starts to work (or realize it's not working).

The other day I got an invitation to participate in a Christmas cookie exchange in December. It involves baking a dozen cookies for every person who participates, and you get a dozen from each other person in return. There are over 20 people invited, although I don't know how many invitees will ultimately join up. It sounds super fun--I LOVE to bake--and it's a bunch of my friends who are doing it. I was about to RSVP yes when I realized I could theoretically end up with, like, 15 dozen cookies in my freezer on December 12th. Sure, I'd make up treat plates and give a bunch of them away as gifts to my neighbors, the school bus driver, and other special people in my family's life. But in the end there'd still be an awful lot of sweet carbs in my freezer.

And me with the hibernation and the burrow and the ten pounds and the feeling terrible.

I haven't decided yet. I'm too busy raising my dopamine levels via sugar and chocolate. It's really unfortunate that carrot sticks and water don't stimulate the feel-good portions of your brain.

2 comments:

Questionable Housekeeping said...

I give a little prayer of thanks daily that doughnuts are not available via drive-thru locally. Right now the thought of loading and unloading my preschooler and toddler from their carseats to take them into a store is the only thing between me and an extra 10 pounds. And don't forget the leftover Halloween candy. I think I may have subconsciously thrown in the towel on trying to get my daughter to ration hers just so she'd get it out of my sight. I've been relatively carb-free for five days. For now I'm relying on tea to help me through my hibernation. But I'd really like a doughnut to go with it.

Rita said...

Oh girl. I would love to say that if we lived closer to each other we could inspire each other to live healthier. But I think we both know we'd really just get together and eat cookies.

Which actually sounds pretty good to me.