Wednesday, December 07, 2011

I Have to Hide the Website From My Daughters.

This autumn has been the Season of Medical Appointments. Actually, I guess last summer was too, seeing as how I was constantly going to physical therapy for my nagging running injury (update: still not gone!).

But this fall has really nabbed the prize. Not even counting my daughters' pinkeye and kidney ultrasound and dental check-ups, I've been to more health professionals' offices in the past few months than I think I have been in the last year. That's what happens when you have a running injury, your hair is mysteriously falling out, your contact lens prescription changes dramatically because apparently your nearsightedness has worsened, how is that even possible?, and you're due for your flu shot, your teeth cleaning, your ob-gyn check-up, and a baseline mammogram. (You can understand why I am totally broke. Medical bills bite, you all.)

At one of these appointments--when I went in for my annual ob-gyn visit--my doctor and I were discussing the fact that all my hair is falling out. I've seen my primary care provider for this issue, have had blood work done, and have a dermatology consult next week, but it's pretty major, so naturally I was talking with my ob-gyn about it as well. Hair loss can be a stress reaction, which I've experienced before, so my doctor asked if I could consider taking a yoga class or doing any sort of formal relaxation exercises. Since we have zero money right now, signing up for an ongoing class at our town's yoga studio is out of the question, so my doctor and I were brainstorming less expensive, yet structured and formal, ways to manage stress. Hilariously, she recommended a stress management CD she had bought for her daughter at the Renaissance Fair last summer by some dude named Franko the Hypnotist.

No I am not kidding.

I joked at the time that maybe Franko had a website, and then promptly forgot all about it until the other day when I was texting with my fellow-psychologist friend Kristi about my impending baldness and thought she'd get a kick out of the idea of my doctor recommending Franko the Hypnotist. After we stopped texting, I went and Googled him, and of course I found his website. With CDs for sale. Including one called Stress Management.

And I in no way mean to insult Franko the Master Hypnotist, because to be honest I will most likely order his CD because I am totally desperate to stop my hair from falling out, but THE EYES AT THE TOP OF THAT SITE ARE SCARY, YOU ALL!

Seriously, don't you think?! Egad! Scary.

You can imagine the speed at which I e-mailed Kristi the link to this site.

But my doctor swears he's amazing. And I am in no position to doubt.

1 comment:

Mom said...

Well, good luck with Franko. But be sure to read the accompanying literature to be sure he can reverse your hypnotic state once he gets you into it.