Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Things You Need to Know (in My Opinion)

 A few random things I need to tell you. 

First, I just read this HILARIOUS AND CRINGINGLY ACCURATE article from The Atlantic by writer Sandra Tsing Loh about perimenopause/menopause, and so should you. Particularly if you are in your forties or fifties. Especially if you are a husband of someone in her forties or fifties. It's long, I admit; but so worth it. A bit ironic that I read it after a three-consecutive-night Hot Sweat-Fest (which, honestly, is not sexy like it may sound).

The paragraphs about insomnia, especially, slayed me:

Even more unsettling is how, at night, the depression and anxiety are so much stranger and more intense than the minor quotidian irritants that seem to be tipping you off into hopelessness (the overflowing laundry basket, the $530 car-repair bill, the fact that the scale says you’re up—what is it?—eight pounds). The other night, I was awake at 3:24 a.m. as usual (melatonin, Tylenol PM, Ambien, forget it—I could take them all at once, paired with a bottle of wine, and still drive an 18-wheeler). As I lay in the darkness, all at once, the name Brian Hong surfaced in my consciousness and I experienced not a passing wave of despair, but despair simply moving in as a cold, straight tide.

I have no idea who Brian Hong is—I was filled with gloom simply because of the name. Perhaps there is, in fact, a lone forgotten yellow Post-it, somewhere on my rolltop desk with its gas bills and Discover-card solicitations and Blue Cross health-insurance forms, that reads Brian Hong. Perhaps Brian Hong is the head of a small Asian nonprofit who several months ago earnestly if a bit keeningly e-mailed me, citing as a referral the name of a mutual friend, to ask if I would drive an hour down to San Pedro to give a free speech at a fund-raising benefit for a flailing youth center for depressed gay minority teens at 10 a.m. three months from now on a cloudy Wednesday. 

On the one hand, as a longtime veteran of the nonprofit world, I can no longer afford to humor the endless requests to do everything for free, particularly because no one treats you worse than the penniless. On the other hand, though, for me to categorically say no seems like a kick in the teeth to all the kids in the world who are already down; the result of this discomfiting indecision being that I NEVER REPLIED TO BRIAN HONG AT ALL, and so now, like that forgotten spongy corpse, he has come after me in the middle of the night to gently (because that is Brian Hong’s passive-aggressive way) but persistently (because that is also Brian Hong’s passive-aggressive way) haunt me. Brian Hong! Brian Hong! Brian Hong! 

Oh my. Wait till you read the part about Aunt Carol and the leg of lamb.

On a completely different note--a very sad one in fact--one of my favorite mama-writers, Glennon Melton of Momastery, wrote yesterday that she and her husband have separated. If you are a regular Momastery reader, as I am, you know the trajectory here, and it is nothing short of heartbreaking. But, it is life. Glennon is carrying on like the warrior she is, but it's so sad.

Finally, because I can't just leave you with all that tragedy and horror and night-sweating, check out this Valentine's Day cake

image courtesy and BlogHer

Seriously, have. you. ever???? OMG. And to answer your next question, no, I'm not making it this year, but only because we have birthday cake AND Valentine's cupcakes in our freezer, chocolates in a jar on the table, and Girl Scout cookies in our pantry, and I've recently gained five pounds from eating all of them for the past week or so. So, you know. Just can't do it. But next year, for sure. (Because I'm sure everything will be different next year, what with my birthday, Valentine's Day, and Girl Scout cookie sales still happening at the exact same time as this year, ha ha ha...)

More love coming tomorrow, of course, so check back. In the meantime, hug your babies, take your estrogen, eat your cake, whatever. Much love to you!

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