Friday, March 14, 2014

What Day is It?

I've been having the kind of month (season? year?) where you (I) can't keep straight what day or date it is. Do you ever do that? I keep writing emails to friends and using the wrong day to describe what's going on this week. Or, I'll be looking at supermarket coupons and trying to figure out if they've expired or not yet, and it literally takes me a minute or two to figure it out. (Yes, I do use coupons. My supermarket puts out great ones and yesterday I bought $150 worth of groceries for $111.) Like, I will stare at it and think, "3/15/14. Is that day over? March 15th. What day is it? We're past that day. Oh, wait! No we're not." This goes on for a long, long time.

This state of mind isn't so unusual, for me or probably most other moms; when the kiddos are young and growing up, our lives are often a whirlwind of kids and meals and school events and homework, and there's often scarcely time to think straight. But I think this month it has been magnified by a.) my husband being gone for over a week for a bike-race trip earlier this month, which meant there really HASN'T been time to think straight lately, b.) my job, which I definitely love but which has generated ripple effects on my life as a stay-at-home mom that I am still getting used to,  and c.) the unfortunate fact that everything seems to have been scheduled for the same three-to-four-or-so-week period: doctor check-ups, parent-teacher conferences, annual mammogram, various school events and work trainings, etc. You'd think that fact would help keep the date firmly in mind each day, but no. All it does is make me frantically consult my calendar on a near-constant basis to make sure my kids and I are where we're supposed to be at the moment.

It's all good, though. The world is melting. Water is running in the gutters. The skating pond is no more. (Well, it's still there; but now it's a goose habitat.) I have received my first regularly scheduled paychecks (i.e., not unpredictable book royalties or random freelance/coaching/consulting payments)--two of them, as of today--in nearly ten years. They go straight into my own checking account like, paychecks do when you're paid for your work. Okay, so they're tiny; it doesn't matter. It's a big deal.

Maybe it's not all good. With every passing day I can't keep track of, my babies keep growing bigger and older. That may be "good" in some theoretical way in the grand scheme of life, but almost daily I just want to wail, Noooooooo! and stop the clock. Of course I've said this countless times here before. But I can still be brought to tears by a fleeting impressionistic memory of driving around town with babies in carseats in the back, or of taking toddlers to library storytime, or of having company at home in the mornings. It feels how I imagine a phantom limb must feel.

Ah, best not to think too much about that. It's March. Tonight is Family Movie Night at my girls' school. It's time to make green cookies. Spring Break is a week away. The "Frozen" soundtrack still runs on repeat around here. Winter is waning. The sun is stronger every day, and so are we I guess.

Happy whatever-the-heck-day/date-it is. Enjoy your weekend. xo

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