Oh, my dear ones. I am so falling down on the job. This will be my remembered refrain of the 2014-2015 school year: "I am falling down on the job!"
Not the ACTUAL, paying job, of course; I feel (and hope I am right) that I am performing that job quite well. It's the other job, the one of mommy and household manager/CEO, whose tasks I cannot seem to get done or stay on top of. (Clearly I can no longer stay on top of grammar, either, given that last sentence.)
I have not printed out photos for our family albums since the first day of school. Nope, not from Halloween or fall field trips. Not from the 5th-grade fall choir concert or Thanksgiving. Not from CHRISTMAS, nor New Year's, nor the school Winter Sings. Nothing. I do not have time to sort and cull and decide and order. I have tried, and yet, it has not been done.
This is just one example, of course. Life continues to be insane. I dropped mother-daughter book club after failing to obtain the month's reading selection for three months' straight. I consistently run out of groceries before finding the time to replenish; I can't count how many last-minute gallons of milk I've procured. I skip household chores on the daily and then have to catch up at some other, dirtier time. I rely too often on freezer convenience foods for my growing girls, eaten fast between homework and Tae Kwon Do lessons. I have yet to figure out anything regarding new guitar lessons for Julia, although I gave her a bigger-kid, "real" guitar for Christmas.
(Let's ignore the fact that she begged and begged for one and has not touched it since she received it. GAH..... But there is no time for regret.)
True, January has probably been the worst month, a somewhat atypical example, for all this, due to Christopher's numerous absences for bike race trips. It's a hard month to solo-parent: all the putting away of the holiday decorations, the purging and re-organizing the small house to accommodate new possessions received as gifts, the harsh weather that discourages outings and outdoor play, the low light, the cabin fever. Things will likely improve as winter wears on and life changes bit by bit by bit, again.
The good news is that I love my full-time job--the paying one, the one that's turned my mom-and-housewife life upside down--immeasurably.
Oh, this job. This job may be the savior of my mental health as I enter the dark years of tween parenting. As I said to my friend Kath the other day (another full-time SAHM-turned-working-mom, who also works in a school now), it is a blessing, when your children seem to fight with each other nonstop during every waking moment of the day and you swear you can actually feel your blood pressure rising as a result, to be able to go somewhere else every morning where you can (and need to) turn your attention away from your own children/home/life and instead focus 100% on other children, with other needs, and other everything. Who knew?!
Nothing makes me happier than showing up at work each day to the smiling faces of my supervisor and co-workers, and to spend the next 7-1/2 hours in a busy whirlwind of elementary school children and teachers and classrooms and the six busy boys in our Neurobiological program. Love it love it love it. Hallelujah. How did I get so lucky.